Ever since I got the tatoo I have been thinking. I don’t know how to approach these emotions. I don’t know how to handle them anymore. Tonight, I made a decision to face it. I cannot continue talking to you and pretend I am not hurting. I hate you for doing this to me. I was okay even if I was just alone. You were the one who started this, remember? I was living my life here in the Philippines and all of a sudden here you are messaging me, reporting your daily activities to me like I was a girlfriend of yours. Why do that when you cannot commit? I don’t like being on a gray area. I left my ex because the relationship was no longer clear and evident. It was all gray. I did not move on from that to be in the same state again. Why? If you like another girl why keep me in the loop? Is it for sex? I live far from you why not get a girl who’s living in the same country as yours? You hate Philippines and I live here. Why make connection from someone here? It saddens me that you take my feelings for granted. I thought you were better than that. I know after all of the good memories, we cannot be friends. I cannot allow you to hurt me again and again. It’s emotional torture and I will not let you or anyone do that to me. I am better than this. I am better than this.
I am still undecided if I should upload my photos from my Sydney trip. I am not sure if it’s a good idea to include you. Maybe soon or maybe not.